Emotional Infidelity

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Have you ever thought whether or not you are committing infidelity even if there is no physical contact? Listen to this voice blog. It is rather long, but you may enjoy it or you may become angry or you may just not have an opinion. Feel free to comment here or comment on snapvine.

I would love to hear from you whether you are on my list of friends/contacts or not.

"I" Have Something to Celebrate

I have never really paid attention to this before, Women's Rights. I had old fashion thinking until most recently. I thought a women was meant to accent a man in his life. To tend to his needs and the kids and the home. Until lately when I am fighting for stability in my career to be the bread winner of my single parent home.

Funny how things work out sometimes. I thought I would be successful at a young age, then give it up to be a wife and mother. I was forced back into a single life when my ex-husband left finally with the last person he had an affair with. Who knows, maybe it wasn’t his last, but for me it was. Anyway, I have desired the looking nice in sun dresses, preparing luxurious meals, parties to promote my husband in his endeavors, but instead the opposite has occurred. I find myself needing and wanting a career for myself. I have been told for many years that I have a nak for this, the talent for that, etc. I so want to finish school and do something great, but to be honest I don’t have the ability to at this time with how my ex had left me, and I am still picking up the pieces. Luckily there are only a few more pieces to pick up. Thankfully, God has put me back in a technical field. I hope to grow within my current company and still volunteer in my community.

I have actually applied to volunteer for three new organizations here in OKC and one old organization from back home. The one back home is more phone or online support, technical aspects they are needing. I have not heard back from 3 out of 4. The one I have heard from, I suggested an idea. The new leaders seemed to like the idea and are in the process of checking to see if it meets the group’s and company’s approval.

Anyway, I am coming into my own I guess you could say. I am finding out what “G….” is all about. Learning to be independent, bold, and courageous.

Weekend Update

Weekend started off miserable, I was sick, but ended great, got tanned a bit playing volleyball in the pool, won 1 lost 2 games.

Matt ran into a classmate from school and lives a building down from us. I met his mom and her and I may become good friends. She is a single mom too.

Drake's mother, Ashley did not swim, she was sitting in the shade when we arrived. I sat in the shade at first and to my surprise, discovered we had a common interest, the school our children attended and how they were classmates. It was obvious when the boys knew each other's names there was familiarity, so naturally we introduced ourselves.

There were others from the complex and Rod was trying to get enough interested to play a few games of volleyball. Rod is a neighbor who happens to have a twin brother, Rez. I met Rod a couple of weekends ago and he remembered me. I ran home to change to play considering Matt was in the water already playing with his new best friend, Drake.

It was a good Sunday afternoon.

Being Too Honest

I was reading an article about dating this morning. This is a clip I wanted to keep and share, "There is something very sexy about a person who remains a little mysterious, so leave a few shadows in your past." I guess I better learn this technique.

To my surprise there is a guy at work that has made it known of his attraction and interest towards me. The catch is keeping it at a down low due to work. I was flattered, but I am not getting my hopes up, yet at the same time I am not pushing him away. I am just playing it cool. As cool as I can.

I didn't realize there are so many do's and don't to dating. I never dated in junior or high school. Listening to my oldest talk about his friends and his own experiences, the do's and don't come and go. They learn by making them and moving on and then that very same person comes back after they moved on. Interesting. hahaha. It appears with adults, the game is different. Everything I read suggest there is no time to make mistakes and no come backs because adults don't forgive as easily or due to the fact the clock is ticking. Talk about stress. WHO really has it.... the teens or the adults. hhhhmmmm. Hard to say. I can diffinately tell you it is hard. I made a lot of don'ts with the man who has my heart right now and that is the dodgeball goof. I am still praying that he is removed off my heart if God wills it, but if I can be perhaps a bit too honest right now, he is still on my heart always. I don't know what God has in store for me. I thought I knew once, but I am totally not going to worry about it.

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Matt attended his second day of school today. His father called this morning to wish him a good day. I am so thankful that my ex and I are communicating a lot better and smoother in regards to our youngest. It feels great to have peace. As far as our oldest, not the same. There is so much tension built up. They (Chris, my oldest, and my ex) are always findings ways to either keep him away from me or to give me a difficult time when with me. I won't go into how it is difficult, I wouldn't want you to become upset.

Anyway, I am learning to let things slid more and to be swept under the rug. Basically less things are bothering me. I am letting go of my oldest, not because I love him any less or care any less, but he is coming of age where his life is his and he has to decide wether to visit me is important to him or not. I pray one day he will realize I am his mother, not my ex's new wife. I pray he will realize he needs me in his life and will come around more, especially as he gets older. Yes, there was major pain in coming to realize this, but the pain is weaking and almost non-existant.

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Life goes on!!! Whether we want it to or not. All we can do is keep moving forward. Focusing on the positive and most of all focusing on God and our relationship with him through the son, Jesus Christ.

Summer Is Over :-( hahaha

Today I drove my youngest to his new school. He will have a great year, I can feel it. His teacher was very professional and had a stern presence. I like that. It was such a great morning that not even the rain could spoil it. Matt sat at his table and watched me speak to his teacher. I think she was surprised I was one of the few who actually bought all that was on the list for supplies. I knew the list contained a list of items more then enough for one child. It was enough for 2 to 3 kids. But I figured she needed it, if she had it on the list. Matt sat tall in his chair and smiled as he over heard us talking. It was an awesome morning.

Off for the weekend whhooohooo!!!!

Baking a cake. Smells sooooo good. Ummmm hmmmm!!!

My youngest comes home tonight and the oldest comes for a weekend visit.

WOW!!! Half The Year Has Just Flown By!

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A few of you on my list, know me real well, some more then others, and some are too new. Here is just a little tid bit I thought I would share.

The weekend is here, finally.

Just chillin' at home.

It is so hot outside today, sort of glad I am working. Sort of!!!

Just wondering why my sister isn't blogging. :-)